Nothing extraordinary was happening in Mrs L’s advance. She would attend me every day, obtain advice and tasks to be done and then would leave. And some time later, I was glad to tell her one day: "You’ve just entered the mystical path."
She was surprised at hearing that and a complaint slipped spontaneously out of her mouth: "Oh dear, I wonder where I am now, really. I’ve thought I’ve been still a bit farther." I informed her that the entrance onto the mystical path is of great importance, so she should not complain. "You’ll see for yourself," I said.
When she came home, she was examining what had happened or what made me tell her the news. Then she discovered she had just learned to concentrate. Those facts strengthened her confidence in me. Her attending me ceased to be just a duty in cases there were some troubles involved, and she began to like the visits.
I noticed some sort of change in myself, too, at that time. During the meditations in which I was observing myself, I perceived suddenly that my body was growing more and more until it covered all the valley and the mountains behind it that were in sight from our house. My chest and arms were robust with even further tendency to swelling.
I found it remarkable and then finally concluded: It looks like something unusual should happen. Why should I be armed like that? And there was one more thing:
I went quite frequently to Hradec Kralove (CZ town) at that time. My way went across Jicin, and one spot was always attracting my attention there. It was of no definite outlines and so it always fell off my mind, exactly the way one forgets dreams. But close before the [second] realization that "something" became very distinct.
It was a bundle of three rods with fourth one wound around them. And each segment of that fagot was composed as if of fire that resembled the fire of ball lightning.
That vision, too, as it was getting that sharp, seemed to me a portent of unusual things to come. However, I did not trace any details. My habit was to look at everything as coming in due course. Why trace a particular meaning of some appearances? Only the sense of that symbol flashed upon my mind; I did not want to fight back nor did I long for the presages.
Mrs L’s inner development reached meanwhile such a swift movement that I could later complain: "This vehicle was equipped with seven brakes but I had to tighten eight of them to avoid accident." As early as 26 days after my announcing her that she had entered the mystical path, I told her in the form of a question: "Do you know that you’ve achieved a realization?"
Her reply was negative. I thought something about stupid women who cannot naturally know such things – but I kept silent.
Two days later I repeated the question. She nodded, deducing from some signs, but I could not exactly determine what signs they were. In my view, the realization process was in full swing already. On that basis I inferred some things, investigated why her success came so quickly and when I found the answer, even without having asked her directly, I came to a conclusion:
"Vishnu himself must come to witness this realization."
All that happened at one evening.
Then, at the same evening, being in a vigil state, I was sitting on a giant boulder and before me a huge figure was coming out of the emptiness. I was scanning her massive limbs, enormous belly, and breasts full of milk, which I thought they could feed millions of human beings. A sun, glowing in its power, substituted the head. The figure’s eyes, showing horrifying smile, rolled and goggled like the eyes of the most frightful gods one can encounter when passing through the universe.
Abruptly I felt pleasure. I was beside myself with joy about what had come to the world here and, like a man who became mad after having come to an unexpected fortune, I began running around the figure; I joined the frightened, tiny creatures of the astral world, which I did only to prove that the terrible force which manifested itself with a sort of tension, could also make someone happy.
Then I sat calmly and quietly again. A little girl, Mrs L. herself in a young version, separated from the figure. Full of vigour, energy, gentleness and pure innocence, she came before me as before her father, and on her face appeared a question, impish but real one:
"What shall I do?"
I was thinking for a while, rejoicing over all of that until I came to the conclusion she had to have a name. I pronounced one word: "Truth."
Then I pulled her to myself and instructed her that the huge figure was she. Her name was Pistis Sofia, but the name had been defiled and for a long time had meant a prostitute, so I decided to change the name.
She seemed to be satisfied and I felt something like energy impetuses coming out of her body. At the same time, having considered the name too daring, I changed my mind and called: "Child of Truth".
She jumped up and objected: "Truth!"
And then she ran in a wide arc in the direction where she transcended all terrestrial regions, somewhere in the cosmic space, in the horizontal position to the spot I was sitting on. At the same time, as a reply to my raillery "Child of Truth" she exclaimed "Truth, Truth!!"
She was slowly coming back.
I kept silent.
She came to the close proximity to me. A dark object lay before her and she was heading toward it. Then I could see the object was her own human body. She was already plunging into it. It occurred to me to tease her once more before she had entirely plunged into it, so I said: "Child of Truth!"
She was wholly sunk in the body already, but still, she raised her head once more to shout: "Truth!"
I presented later this vision to Mrs L. as reality.
The vision disappeared and I was again in the room. I thought about the appearance for a while and then went to bed. I could not sleep for a long time, but then I did fall asleep and had a dream that I was in a house. I kindled fire in the stove; coal caught fire and glowed, the stove shook and gave off audible detonations, while outside was tempest and storm, and dreadful thunders were roaring in the landscape.
During the wake state I had a dream that was exactly the same in meaning. At the same time I could deliberate about something more realistic. I felt I was in relation to Mrs L. like a storm cloud against the overheated earth. I could even compare Mrs L. to the top of a lightning rod, on which St. Elmo’s fire appears. It put me in certain troubles that culminated in a decision: "I will leave as to avoid our encounter."
So I hurried to catch a tram but met Mrs L. coming at a time quite unusual for her visit. I apologized I had to leave and, at the same time, I bewared our eyes to encounter. Then I got on the tram to go away.
It was still during the journey by tramway to the railway station that I had to be levelling up queer and motley tension, and something blustery was passing through my being. The train was in Rychnov (CZ town) on the square already, which is the last station before the main station.
I was looking up into the sky.
All of a sudden I saw there a door, clean and alabaster-white one, and it was opening to let appear the frightening god’s face. Then there was only the deity itself.
Something like a powerful force yanked me out of my body and I stood on a piece of dead land stretching as far as infinite distances, far beyond the extents of the land itself, reaching maybe the boundaries of our solar system, possibly much farther.
I stood there firmly, looking at the mighty Lord, Vishnu himself. Then I flew even out of that body and glided high and far beyond the solar system; then I took a turn and travelled back to the solar system. I opened my dreadful jaws to swallow the invisible reflection of our solar system, namely Brahman himself.
I felt Brahman in my entrails already, but I kept on flying, losing thus the footing given by the dimensions determining up-down, right-left. The feeling of uncertainty resulting from the impossibility of maintaining the direction arose in me, thus letting me comprehend that even in this way one can get lost on the uncanny paths of great mysticism.
I stabilized my position with reference to myself. Then I saw something massive, indefinite, looming up in the distance in front of me – it was probably some world or karmic system. Then I touched it with my belly and I could see it was some sort of hell that seemed to me firmly set in the laws of justice. I was not able to swallow any longer and I would not have wanted that "land of justice", either. And so, touching the very bottom of the universe, as it was my immediate and unwitting judgement, I was heading in a wide arc back for a place I had started my flight.
I found myself again on the piece of land, the layers of which would be able to ripen during an endless time period to become a land with a possibility of being inhabitable, and I was looking at Vishnu who stood before me.
His nostrils and the opening and closing mouth as well as his head were spewing out and reeking fire, but the image slowly metamorphosed into the normal divine figure we may see on the Indian paintings of this Godhead.
I stepped out of the region I was standing on and, paying no attention whatsoever if I had any firm ground under my feet to stand on, I marched through the space toward the spot where Vishnu stood. My air path was steeply rising, and I could determine, as if indirectly, that it would have been impossible for any man to advance farther up that steep hill that was identifiable only by increasing resistance. And at that moment, I was bowing to Vishnu’s feet and in imagery touching with my lips his feet and the holy land that was just a short distance ahead between the Gate and me. Then I raised my head and asked:
"Are you satisfied?"
While the Deity showed consent by turning itself into the glorious Vishnu with His Heaven in the background, I was recovering all strength of my being to focus my eyesight so that I could see through the body of the Godhead to catch a glimpse of his world. And there, over millions and millions of terrestrial years, I came across a kind of wall, obstacle in the background, which fell to pieces under my look. Thus, beyond the heaven that looked as if decorated with jewels and strange material substances, I looked into the more majestic, respectable and extremely harmonious age of Shiva…
And before I crumbled with my eyesight Vishnu’s breast in that way, there were words rumbling throughout the whole space: "Son of Vishnu…"
It was in the religious ecstasy of the second realisation that I for the first time experienced that my awareness fell over from the state of being subject to time and space [influences] into the state where these physical factors become objects of awareness. That is just a warning if someone wanted to blame me for describing my subjective visions. It is necessary to gain the experience of transference of the awareness from the base of a cosmic subject to the base of an object, whilst the cosmos takes the previous role of the individual consciousness the man is equipped with.
All in all, it depends only on conditions. If someone, trying to abolish the thinking within space-time relations, really succeeded in it, he would suddenly realize that the cosmos is an internal phenomenon in the quality of consciousness that becomes the consciousness of every man who has broken the existing limits of the processes of awareness.
By the way, it only proves of theory of relativity on the psychic-physical base. It makes no difference if this kind of experience is truly unusual, because nobody really takes pains to break through the web of space-time that shackles his awareness. Another thing is that the experience with the shift of the cosmos from the objective sphere to the subjective one (related to consciousness) results in an exhilarating corroboration that the cosmos is just an illusion as the science truly comes to know. People, however, do not want to admit this illusory nature of universe because they attribute the conclusive force to the senses. On the other hand, they state that the senses are just a manifestation of function of matter.
As for my experience with Brahman, the reader should understand him as a quality. This quality is inevitable to ensure the proper moral and hence structural (physical and gravitational) order of the world and all the cosmic events. At the same time, the main absorption factors of this quality are people, who, by mentally deviating from this quality more and more, exert the same influence on it like a centrifuge on water. In other sense it means that the human beings, as the physical factors existing on the dividing line between the phenomenal world and the world of forces, cause through their ways of lives that the quality, which all the moral and other psychological and spiritual values are based on, fades increasingly from their world. This is, indeed, the cause of arising materialistic views in the world of people, which lead up to self-destruction of this world.
At the time I am just talking about, I came to the situation in which I could take the brahmic quality into my bowels. Symbolic meaning of that was that I rectified a bit what people keep spoiling. However, neither I nor anybody else can judge the significance of it because it is only time that may show it. In addition, this reference to time corresponds with the mystical teachings of Orient that say that world view and the fortunes of the world associated with that [world view] arise from deep inner conditions, the setting up of which is beyond any usual perception ability.
Besides, what could be a surprise to the reader is that Shiva’s age, the age of the God-Destroyer, appears in visions more beautiful than the age of Vishnu, the God of Love and Kindness. Reason indicates that the outstanding feature of the Age of Shiva the God of ascetics must be giving up what arouses elementary lust.
If people abandon the striving for what arouses their lusts, they will certainly create conditions for arising heavenly coexistence on the earth. However, they escalate their lusts instead, because they say it is a token of rationalism, cleverness, wisdom, and intellectual development. That is why they have to pay for those merits of theirs with slavery, suffering, harvesting hatred, heresy, and evil. I wonder if people let themselves advise on these evident relations. I am sure they will keep on thinking they have risen above the supposed stupidity that has been only the plainness of believers, people better and more merciful in their characters.
Suppose that the story with Vishnu was only a dream we can have under special conditions. But one thing is certain. Since that time on, for a very long time, until I succeeded in calming down the tempestuous ecstatic heart, each and every situation was falling into karmic causes and effects, leaving behind nothing of what is called a mystery of the present time. That made arise boundless knowledge within me, which often made me think: How is it possible that I do not go mad from this cognition?
Yes. Before my eyes, the past, present and future of the karmic predetermination have become the mere here and now, and I stared into the frightful Samsaro the tentacles of which always hold everything that is in the ways of life directed by life instinct rather than by pure awareness that is an aspect of immense consciousness.
Besides, I got a feeling that I installed in the worldly fortunes of people a lever of salutary morality, and neither people and demons, nor gods and myself in the future, will succeed in breaking it. At the same time, I lay claim to not being regarded as a fantastic visionary, who applies his abstract visions on reality. The reason is that I know well that the fate of the world is fait accompli, the rise of which was determined by moral views of people and creatures of the past, and that the moral and political slogans of the present time are just a lie that the blind leaders of blind people hurl in people’s faces only because behind this lie there is ambition of these leaders, which is supported by their moral corruption.
Yes. I became a wheel, the main spoke of which was the force fighting down all living, [the force] which made the breath of morality. Since that moment on, that breath began to waft throughout the worlds of life and I – judging from certain signs – can trust that this breadth will start to penetrate the animal world opinion in order to suppress it, as this materialistic world-view has caused us so much unendurable karmic evil.
Besides, there is no reason for me to conceal anything. I know the fact that the fate of the world does not lie in the hands of dictators – they only execute the directives of karma. Everything is otherwise incorporated in the subtlest tension that makes people have a certain moral opinion the real fate depends upon. So, why would it not be possible that the mighty mental stream, which arose from the state in which the awareness overgrew the power of the very Brahman and appeared in front of Vishnu’s throne, become the electrifying force that will lead people, who cannot control themselves, to another, better, world view? The mystical, mental and psychic forces work in the hearts and brains of people, thus alone creating what a person, who does not know oneself, says about: "That’s what I want!" This is the lever that moves the living world, skipping its daily consciousness, and creates the opinion about which people post festum say it is the opinion of their own. What is certain is that although people are equipped with the force of the daily awareness and with the will dependent on it, still they are driven by mechanical factors that are perhaps just psychological [ones] but, in any case, they create all tendencies and conditions. With respect to this, the expression "I can", as for its meaning, is only a resultant factor; from the same point of view man appears to us only as a pitiful creature whose mental obscuration is sealed by exactly his self-confidence. This is the reason why I believe in the effect of the mental force of the moment and the circumstances thereof, which were connected with the vision of Vishnu, and against this background I dare to expect that the moment, at which I saw, greeted and touched Vishnu, became the moment of new mental trends in which the age full of moral and fateful crises will drown to be replaced by an age of more favourable fortunes.
When will all that happen? --- Sands of time pouring away from Saturn’s clasp can measure reliably only the life of matter and senses. However, when confronted with mental tensions, they fail. Therefore only empirically can one determine the progression toward the moral recovery, but, on the other hand, I do not think the age of Vishnu lies far away in the future. So much the more that the people of today are closer to mental states than the people of past. Thus moral corruption on one hand and desire of moral recovery on the other often cross swords in people’s hearts. This very fact may be a favourable presage with the hope of being fulfilled in the foreseeable future…
Later, as the event with god Vishnu did not touch me so much, I cogitated on the whole case. I did swallow Brahman and that is why we can assume that at that time, in March 1946, his age came to an end and was replaced by the age of Vishnu. But I do not regret. I can see in every cell of the world space that Brahman’s age was an age of blood and victims, an age of incomprehensible, never-ending destruction, during which hecatombs built up like under the reign of a cruel old monarch. But even though I know that according to tradition Vishnu is a higher unit under the rule of which innumerable Brahmans appear, still, I hope in my heart that a new era is coming into existence, in which Vishnu will be Brahman at the same time and Brahman [will be] Vishnu as for the character traits. I wish that passing over the reign of one to another did not take eternity to be accomplished!
The "vision" finished. The tramway was some 300 to 500 meters from the spot where heaven began to open for my eyes, and so I could now look again at the gate that was greyer than the moment Vishnu had come out of it before. My state was queer. As I looked with my eyes straight into the sun that stood high in the sky of spring, still it seemed, compared to the light of the previous vision, to be such a dark ball like the flame of a kerosene lamp as compared with the sun under the normal circumstances. Then I diverted my attention from the sun too, and everything around me seemed to be dark, bleak and sickly.
But then the tram stopped. I got off and went to the railway station. But although it was a clear and sunny day, all seemed to me as if on a grey, cloudy day we are accustomed to in the late autumn, when the midday sun trails low over the horizon…
I sat in the train finally, and strange feelings were rotating in my heart. I saw houses outside, scattered in the valleys, and I felt constriction in my chest, as they seem to me as suffering personified. Everything was under a pall of semi-light and semi-darkness, thus making the impression extremely intense. And neither the sunrays, illuminating the whole scene, could not dispel my gloomy impressions.
The train went on and on, but the picture remained unchanged. In another valley, one or two hundred meters off the railway line, a row of other houses stood, and their walls were no obstacle for me to see a man with his wife, whose contented hearts and mouths contrasted so strangely with their lots; it was beyond my comprehension. The situation caused a bitter and astringent feeling in my heart, and the whole view made me feel as if a knife of an attacking murderer was penetrating into my breast.
More and more people were getting on the train; they talked, but their hearts were entirely empty, which made me think they had nothing to say to each other. But still, they chatted vigorously. I could not understand the paradox, so strange it seemed to me. They resembled murmuring brooks that give out pointless sounds into the space; brooks are, however, inanimate things, but these here are people!
It occurred to me that I would probably never figure out why people exist. I cognised they are not necessary here, because in their hearts I saw just vacuity and their mouths gave out strange sounds no one can understand. But still, they seemed to understand each other. Now I do not know at this point for what purpose. They could also exist without the possibility of understanding. --- And so I could just think to death.
The train was finally going out of the hilly land and entering the city. I could identify the sound of the industrial town: We are leaving the mountains for the region that was vibrant with life more intensely. I could hear the noise emitted by industry; cars were chasing each other and the thoughts of people were yelling. Everything was happening both outside and in my breast that groaned under that terrible style of life. It occurred to me: These cars will probably rut me, tear me to pieces and crush me. But what does it matter! I live in a black world where only killing rules the roast.
Some voice responding to my apathy exclaimed in me: "Buck up!"
At first I did not know what it could be good for, but then, as I was approaching the destination of my journey, I saw it was necessary. Thereupon I properly get dressed into my body again, the previous condition left me and I could feel, think and move as a "normal man" again.
I went for a visit to my friends-mystics. They seemed to be pleased to see me, but something of what had just happened cleft on me. --- Then night came. Something was going on in my body, filling me with a feeling of illness, but it was inner things that attracted my attention.
Then the tension was intensifying again. And a crisis turned up in the night. The problem was that I had troubles holding efficiently the Darkness that was already separating from my body, and it was probably because "the field was cleaned" as a result of the previous events. But still, I thought that there was a connection between what had happened to me and shadows of the future that should later affect all civilized people. Therefore I tried hard to harness the seceding Darkness and to turn it into the well-known figure of the Dweller of the Threshold.
I was successful already, but everything was taking place on the limits of energy capacity I could dispose of. The Dweller of the Threshold was with me but his freedom of movement was too great. I intended to limit his play, so I stepped the tension. I assumed an uncomfortable position on the floor and began to beat my incantations into the space. The atmosphere was as if charged with electricity. The light of the peaceful fate of the world was flashing before my eyes, and dark shadows of "Betrayal" were piercing that light…
A light opening itself to the Darkness was coming out far in the east. The silhouette of the near future made me scare at that instant. And the Keeper of the Threshold felt it was his home there and he was also strong enough to go there. Tearing pain that should serve to buy out the Darkness for myself made my body shake. --- But still, I could not ransom it. That was the reason why an idea flashed upon me about the ripe karma that is always more powerful than the young, relatively just born, karma. And then the Dweller of the Threshold ran away.
Somewhere in the distance I saw two female bodies lying on the bed - the bodies of my wife and of Mrs L. The two were in danger that the Dweller of the Threshold would leave his marks on them. He sank his influence in form of his hand into my wife’s body; Mrs L. was resistant to that impact because she was exalted in divine spirit.
Then the two body disappeared and the Terror of the Threshold did too, but he vanished somewhere in the far Siberia. At the same time, a picture of the dire, bad, future was looming before my eyes, which should touch our people, our nation.
I went on invoking and in that way I tore something out of the Darkness that created the body of the escaped Keeper of the Threshold, and I was chaining that in my very proximity. I kept on doing it until almost seven’ o’clock in the morning when my hosts switched on the radio.
Something got relaxed. It came all of a sudden. And then, in the words as well as the music, both I and they could hear the singing composure, freedom, that was unfortunately not real, but existed only in the hopes of people. That is why it made me think of the near future threatening us, which would be perhaps replaced by a sun of better conditions one day; that sun whose symbol was shining through the windows into the room I was in.
I was exhausted. My hosts left and I arranged to see Mr F. at lunchtime. Dr K. was coming, too.
Then I was left alone.
I was excited by the presages and thought about my powerlessness. My memories were coming back into the past where I was able to generate mighty waves of auspicious karma for a mere slice of bread. I also recalled the discouragement I experienced with fanatics who saw their ideals in some sort of "mystical marriage", in stigmas, "dripping", and miscellaneous mystical states, which they wanted to put on the altar of their sensual greed. I cringed under the burden of the knowledge that my fate had been very bad, for, even though I had stood face to face with the sinister omens for more than nineteen years, still I could not but look on the falling rock that should bury the poor and in ignorance groaning mankind.
It is possible that one had to be clairvoyant in a sense to be able to perceive the presages of the political situation that arose in 1948. However, also logical thinking could lead one to a conclusion that what should come that very year did come. Considering that, I did not take my visions in this respect for abnormal perceptions but, rather, for a result of rational appraisal of the then situation which had quite an obvious tendency.
I was losing the absolute certainty in that thing only because I could not but observe that even the people who were intelligent and had university education supported communism that eventually declared and consequently also realized its programme. Besides, it was also very interesting to observe the inability or reluctance of many of those people to see the way communism appealed to the people of the street, the way it fuelled the lowest instincts and passions only to make them like the doctrine, and then, with their help, to trigger the so-called February revolution. That finding raised in me doubts whether man still does not need the power of clairvoyance to see through that political game that was based on kindling people’s elementary lusts. Against that background I could conclude that university education does not provide people with the real knowledge but bestows them merely general information, the mastering of which in turn gives the illusion of erudition.
Somebody might object that the intellectuals who embraced communism as a saving doctrine were just opportunists. Unfortunately I got to know there were also idealists among them. This fact may indicate that it is not the erudition that determines on the selection of the political and social guidelines, but the elementary disposition by means of which man "scents" the society that will be satisfactory to him. And if one later happens to get disappointed like many of those political idealists who eventually found out that "the party" did not act humanely, it makes no difference. The fact is that these idealists are intrinsically same as the political movement they had believed in. Only their surface "caught the smell" of the real culture, the seed of which has slowly germinated in the tempest and gale of the dying winter that permeates the initial period of spring.
This reflection can make the reader conclude that I trust in the essential or intrinsic goodness of people. But it is not true. The growing ethical culture can receive also deadly blows because what is truly developed is greed; moral values strive to hold the field of common life from within in about the same way the underground waters try to give humidity to the sunbaked soil. So it would certainly be better to judge that people are really good only as deeply as in those depths of their own beings whence the values have not power enough to get to the surface; the surface itself tosses under the devastating power of vices that always rule over the field of life.
In order to change this [inauspicious] situation people would have to embrace the ethical cultivation also on the surface to make the tempest of lusts calm down and thereby create conditions for the endurable social life.
Well, it was about time to go.
I came to the spot where we arranged to meet and then we all went to take lunch. I was not interested in anything except for the waves of the previous tempest that occurred on the level of my psychological life. This level is common for all people. – And in that mental depression we arrived at the hotel.
All of a sudden, a sort of poisonous force appeared in my body and bumped in a pulsating fashion against the organs of my tortured body. I complained I had to make a stop for a while. But then, suddenly, a sort of cake made of fire, darkness, blood, and other devastating substances moved freely under the parietal bones and consumed my brain. Strange states were getting possession of the body, I could feel cadaverous pus in my throat and estimated: This may be the last moment of my life.
Fortunately I regained balance later. I felt dressed in my body and anchored firmly in it. I even tested it and found it to be as if from granite. Then we went for lunch…
I was indecisive about what to do further, so it occurred to me it would be best to leave for home.
Every now and then the waves of the tumultuous Darkness hit the walls of my body and the Light repelled them in the same waves back. Since there was relatively more Light than Darkness in my body, I was not any more worried that I should die in the next instant.
I was in the train going home, while the Light was more and more meddling in the Darkness, which made me decide: I have to fix my condition by looking straight into the sun.
It helped me a bit to relieve.
Then I determined:
The sun shining into my eyes has a symbolical meaning. By the moment the train will swerve so that I will have no possibility to gaze into the sun I will estimate whether I will perish in or survive this crisis going with the second realization.
No bad presage came. And upon entering Jièín I resolved: If the train halts in such a position that a building or carriages stationed on the second track will cast a shadow on me, it will indicate that I will be annihilated in this struggle.
The train stopped in a favourable position for me. But more other people were getting in and they could shade the sun. Even to such cases my prediction applied. A young man who stood by the window remained so that the sun could give me its full shine.
The young man left and two other people came in place of him. The prognostication covered them, too. But they stood aside and did not block out the sun while looking out of the window. Then finally the train moved again.
I went to a vacant window and looked into the sun on and on, always having encountered auspicious auguries on the curves of the railway line where the sun was disappearing for a while, until near Turnov (CZ town) I was watching the last sunbeams on the western horizon.
There you are, I said to myself, if I had reached Turnov with the sun still above the horizon, the future could have shaped up favourably for my person. Now, all kinds of troubles will interfere. But the train was already in Turnov.
I changed the train, which was more occupied than the previous one. It was a cold evening and the moon grinned at me in the sky. I did not feel like getting in to be among people and so I observed the moon. But the train was about to depart, so I entered the carriage. Men and women I saw and heard there talked obscenely. It made me feel something like whipping in the face, which sent me in feelings back to the moments of the severe flogging during my first realisation.
I went out on the platform, determined to freeze rather than to listen to those dirty talks.
Then I entered the carriage again and went out of it once more, until we finally reached the terminal station.
There where I had seen Vishnu before my departure was only bottomless and dark sky. All was accompanied with depressing feelings in my heart. But what could be done, I was heading for home.
After having got off the tram the moon was grinning at me again. And up on the hill, as I was near home already, Maro leaped suddenly out of darkness and promised me murder. I ignored him; I was not interested in him, after all. Then something like inner voice warned me – but too late - the next moment I slid and slipped down the staircase. Nothing happened to me, only sufferable pain.
As I came home, everything was gloomy and the great Darkness was sitting near my wife, enveloping her completely. It was the greeting of the days to come.
The night was restless for me. I could not fall asleep and only with distrust observed what was arising and going on within me.
All of a sudden Mrs L’s spirit came flying from somewhere and glided down to embrace my neck. It was something that should warn me. – So I left my body to her and remained in a new body nearby, watching what will happen the following moments. But her being began to disappear and I saw there only a flower. It was on the brink of a steep descent, and soil, stones, and water were sliding from above. I did not see the view as a peril for my person; what I was interested in was the fate of the flower.
There was a threatening landslide and then I saw the roots of the flower getting loose. It occurred to me that the lady whom the flower epitomized would have perished just along with that flower that appeared in the vision. So I swiftly uprooted it and re-planted it on a better spot. Swelling elements were bending it, trying to pull it out by the roots, but the flower was planted firmly and therefore resisted the gust.
That vision related to Mrs L’s health. It was actually obvious on the surface, too. The burdensome influence of relatively a great realisation was aggravated by an abnormally high blood pressure. Well, the hypertension itself seemed to exert its destructive influence already and at that moment everything was intensified by terrible tension that even a healthy man endures in some cases with great difficulties. It was a lesson to me, which made me concentrate to mitigate partially the pressures of the two factors. That was the reason why I chimed in her realisation to create a situation that was very difficult to grasp.
That was why I was forced to act instead of think. And in view of my character and experiences, I would have taken it for a "funny game" if the situation had not been complicated by the third factor – my wife. It turned out that my supersensory perception worked far better than the external [perception], which proved that the values of the spiritual perfection I had attained before were no dummy for a sighing dreamer. Well, it let me even get to corroboration that I knew the teaching as an initiate de facto, and it should blow away any of my experimental actions forever. In addition, my previous life and mystic experiences killed in me every trace of possibility of germinating pride within me, which finally made end to the stage in which the being collects life experiences, and instead, it opened up the period of development of certitude that was well based on pragmatic findings that I was entering the final phase of my samsaric existence.
I was clear in my mind. Such is and will be the situation. Then, the next morning I went to see Mrs L. to tell her all I knew. Well, her realisation processes were actually continuing. She felt extraordinary weight and her solemnity got projected into an unusual fog that spread over Jablonec. She was loaded with the feeling of unendurable holy responsibility that was not precisely specified in its meaning.
I reminded her of the necessity to cherish a joyous mood. So she mended her temper and immediately thereupon the sun scraped through the fog to shine and emit the warm beams on the earth. That weather condition lasted for maybe two months maybe longer. Some time later I even sent her a message, trying to sidestep giving seemingly paradox advice to her, that she should "spoil her humour" so that the weather could finally return to the normal limits. She should not have any wishes of further success, either, in order to avoid shaking the universe. And at that very moment many a mystery of mysticism and spiritual evolution became clear to her.
After the vision of Vishnu, expanding into space and my absorption of Brahma as representing the qualities of our cosmos, I became an initiate of the Tibetan Thunder-wedge fraternity. I held their symbol in my hand; then, suddenly, driven by the inner guidance and pressures, I changed the thunder-wedge for phurba (ritual knife). And holding that dagger in my hand I set out on a journey across the oppressive mental layer of the earth. The sun was shining above my head sending its refreshing rays onto that terrible earth’s coat through which it could not penetrate down, and I saw the misery of people who were oppressed by their own karma that they had called forth by selfish viewpoints and deeds.
So I quickly proceeded on the dismal mental layer of the earth, sticking the phurba into it and scrutinizing whether I would find in that layer a crack that I could enlarge with that magic dagger, and thus prepare better karmic prospects to the people of today. But the dark mental sphere was so compact that it made me conclude that the predestination of the world’s fate was founded with the very truth.
What we encounter nowadays are fruits of people’s acts; it is definitely not fruits of their mental wishes. Through mistaken views, grudge and bad acts people caused that only the worst individuals could win in the contest of dirty acts. People’s minds have been clouded and thus they trust their slaveholders. In this way evil finds conditions, substrate, for its thriving and people may only fear that their criminal leaders will prepare for them truly devastating situations.
The good and evil in the world begin in the way of thinking and in opinions of people. Thus it would be propitious if everyone started to take pains to think of all people in a good state of feelings, wish them good luck and avoid each wicked act. In such case man will not have to support his hope with police but only with carrying forces of karma in the psychological and ethical sphere.
In respect thereof I examined also the circumstances I found myself in due to my mystic operations and lastly I came to the conclusion that I had run into processes of the second realisation that had both inductive and reductive character of states. The importance of those states was intensified by the fact that I was not alone in that strange mystical course; there were also Mrs L. with her first realisation and my wife – with jealousy.
The jealousy guarded me, interfered with the mystical states I was going through, and tore out much of them, so that I was soon unable to distinguish if the feeling that was just arising in my being was mine, of Mrs L. or my wife. It was a knotty situation that I was untwining by means of ritual self-renouncing. During that situation my body was seized by states that were quite non-endurable and were bringing me to deadly states and to danger of death, which made me prognosticate for myself only bad culminations in the chain of reincarnations.
Now, one of those states was already arising. Observing it I concluded it would be best to submit to it.
Then I did not feel legs and arms any more, but it was all the same to me. I only wanted to have "clean bowels for the journey". Well, I can say it was in general quite unendurable for me to feel whatever impurity in my body. So that was my direction to go. The numbness was proceeding in the meantime; it was already in the abdominal region, and I was looking forward to seeing everything end.
But all of a sudden I remembered I had a son who was out of home right then. I began to regret that he had never known me thoroughly; that idea averted my attention into a direction other than where the spirit should go. That gave rise to a reaction that resulted in jolts that were noticeable as bodily twitches. The body was tensing up and contracting again, thus bouncing on the bed. – Something wrong with the muscles, the doctor told me…
Then everything stopped and no time remained for recollections. It was a truly complicated situation in states of tensions, chiefly in the psychical ones. I was thrusting forward from the spot like a dragon; I was eating fish – Christians, drinking huge quantities of milk as milk symbolizes divine substances the "divine body" should be built from, and in general, everything was no longer a reality but became a mere symbol.
The park in front of our house jumped suddenly up into the air and I had much to do to bring it back to earth. Then I was confused by actualities. My eyesight, hearing, and even touch did not inform me reliably of the facts of the visible as well as invisible world. Fortunately I retained the "olfactory memory", so that I could base my discrimination on the organs of smell.
Malfunction of the basic senses, on which we normally base our detections of the so-called true nature of reality, can be a case for a psychiatrist, especially when this failure starts to concern the sense of touch. My experience is, however, that the mental health or illness is not grounded on functional balance only. If my experience were not true, I could not orient myself just by smell. But let this fact be just for interest’s sake. I would like to add only one thing, namely that the mental balance is built merely on shaky and therefore unreliable foundations; eastern esoteric systems teach us that even some kind of loss of mental balance means the beginning of resorption of the normal human being into an over-samsaric being. In other words: there are also "lunatics" who live in a higher sphere they have already realized. This fact remains unchanged despite the opinion of ordinary people who think that this condition is exclusively a pathological state. In a higher sense, a standard of the mental health is a mere convention.
Well, I could walk without having to avoid houses of the invisible world, its inhabitants and natural phenomena, and by some secret signs and aspects of my consciousness I could determine the "sober reality". On the other hand, the possibility of identifying my condition as that of a being was gone. I could not simply recognize whether I had already died and taken all the existing sensory world with me to the posthumous state, or whether I still stayed in the old world of mine. I was sitting on the plain of the young world renouncing the old one in a ritual way, and Buddha going past asked me: "What are you doing?"
I replied I was renouncing myself, and at the very instant a recollection flashed through my mind, that once, at the same level, I knocked some practicing man down into the precipice with the same question. Hence I realized that I was already past the trial of the "high divine milieu" that does not admit any unripe being higher, to the celestial realms.
My uncertainty about whether I was still alive or dead already was too intense an experience. Not even up till now have I dispelled it by any tangible evidence; I got over it only by losing my interest in the case. But one thing is certain as it follows from my personal experience. Man can take to his posthumous state his whole previous world without ever observing any significant change in his condition. This too, is a proof that the outer world is just relative, to which we ascribe genuine values merely on the basis of our current psychological state. In other words: our sensory world exists only in our minds; from the absolute standpoint, nothing that is structured is real.
In addition to that, I observed remotely the way Mrs L. did and I regulated her concentration by watching over the fire in our stove. Many a time I turned her concentration into the correct direction in that way, as, in my view, a personal visit and explanation would have come too late. I was aware her blood pressure kept permanently over 300 and it was very dangerous to make the slightest mistake in such a case. For that reason, in order to secure myself for the future, I invited her to spend a night in our flat where I let her concentrate. There were many things going on with her. Unfortunately I had no time to finish my job as my wife fell into a desperate jealousy. I had to comfort her to avoid even more complications in the affair.
Mrs L. was still under terrible pressures. I noticed that her eyes were kind of glassy and so I sent her to a doctor who told me then:
"Blood pressure 300, death any moment." But at the same time the weight of Christ’s cross lay on her and I concluded that at that instant the same burden was descending on many people’s loins; it seemed to me that half the world was getting involved in that realisation. Then immediately an outbreak of epidemic influenza was reported to me; the flue bore all signs that were related to that inner crucifixion. But my opinion was: It is transmission of the mystical purification.
The danger of Mrs L’s death persisted on. I wanted to ease and relieve her of the attendant phenomena of that realisation of hers, so I went and asked Mr S. to make one act of grace against the principles of his selfishness and to take upon himself a part of the difficulties that made Mrs L’s body break down.
He liked her and so he followed my request. However, his wife had to turn him on the bed the next morning. I remarked shortly:
"Do you understand what a person passing through a realisation must undergo?" Anyway, that was only a small alleviation from all her difficulties. There was maybe hundred times a heavier encumbrance lying on her loins, and that help of his was just a mitigation of some pain that would have otherwise finished the work of destruction.
I myself persisted in the dark psychic world of people in the meantime, and did my best for new, better, presages to come for the future fates of mine and of all people. I did not think at all of my redemption, but bore in mind the natural desire of all beings to live beyond dying and arising of the bodies their spirits and the just existing consciousness are endowed with.
But it is very difficult task to work in the psychical darkness of people of the whole world. That darkness symbolizes the prime origin of the real future states, and I was unable to create conditions for faster germination and ripening of seed corn. Many times I was working only on what was arising at the very moment. Thereby I was getting into many-sided influences that were more of infernal rather than celestial nature. And since the situation was truly intricate and my mind was tossed about by the mighty mystical bumps into the karmic and astral shadows of the living world, white clouds (cumulus) emerged over the western horizon where they stayed motionless for many days, maybe several weeks, and did not cloud over the sky that was otherwise entirely clear.
Those white clouds appeared as clouds only to normal physical eyes. But my eyesight was different. Therefore I could perceive those clouds only as being a physical symbol of bodies of white gods that emerged above the horizon from their waists up. And those gods were turning their eyes to me, which made me conclude that it was because I was too much involved in the matters of mysticism and the world’s karma.
Well, I could perceive those gods that watched me acting. Their eyes seemed sometimes unconcerned, at other times astonished, and many times I saw even their hair stand on end as my situation was getting insolubly knotty.
It was clear to me that they would have their final say in the course of the very hard difficulties accompanying my second realisation. They stood still, waist-deep hidden behind the horizon and looked like silent witnesses of the enlightening struggle I was going through. They remained unaffected as the troops of infernal goblins attacked me, which made my position difficult, as I did not want to either fall or hurt. But they were dumbfounded, their hair standing on end when seeing me blending invisible creatures and miscellaneous tensions, thus turning them into preconditions for more favourable karma of the world. They might have considered it too risky an action, nevertheless, I was not brought up in a religious sense and so everything was for me merely tension and interaction; I perceived gods as well as demons just as accidental phenomena of physical interference.
Indeed, I knew and could also recognize very well that some lines of force might tear the body to pieces, however, I did not see any other possibility than to act the way I did, because I lived the opportunity to absolutely untwine the karmic problems of a man with karmic debts. And so I was going down into unpleasant karmic waves and coming up again, being scarred on my body, spirit and consciousness with experiences of dismal incarnations. Before my eyes emerged immediately white ghosts whose meritorious karma has unfortunately no influence upon the ignorance burdening them; thereupon again huge monsters that were strong enough to wrap my body into their devastating influence. That resulted in alternating states, the equalization of which was such a difficult task that made me balance on the limits between life and death, with karmic prospects of permanent wiping out from the cosmos, or hope of innumerable births in hell or madness in many human incarnations. At the same time there was permanent difficulty that the circumstances did not allow me to be interested in my own personal fortunes, and therefore I was in the cosmos of the resistant forces of karma as an absolutely helpless and internally quite bare creature.
At that time my spirit was pulsating, going up and down, and its waves were becoming moments that represented what was within the reach of my developed and latent interests. Suddenly I found myself in front of a bird monster that stood with one foot on the border of Persia and Caucasus, whereas its other foot lay on the seashores somewhere in Balutchistan. The monster stood rigidly and even its appearance already indicated some sort of danger that should occur in those regions and the whole world. Then suddenly, I wielded a small sword and I thought I was supposed to use it.
I knifed the monster in the neck, but – it still stood on. Fear arose in me that I provoked something to a very evil action. But then my hand held a massive sword and cut repeatedly at the monster’s neck until blood and water poured down its neck into the sea. Its head was dropping and its body breaking down. But I had to watch carefully whether the blood was not going to swamp people.
Well, it seemed the blood would not trap them. It was pouring down into the see without creating any threats.
I think that the event concerned the strained relations between USSR and western powers that urged Soviet Union to withdraw her troops from Persia where the Soviets had had armed forces since the war. Owing to that it might have been assumed it was only a vision in the sphere of auguries. However it might be, there was no war then, even though there were preconditions for it to come, because the Kremlin’s dictator strove only for further advance and no retreat.
I was also retaining my mind and mental activity in general, for I knew it was the best way to step in the course of world’s affairs that were [and always are] dependent on ripe karma. Then I was performing complicated concentrations, which made me appear as a incorporeal, ghost-like entity somewhere in the command of an army where the dictator of the Kremlin came and ordered: "Get ready for the war!"
In view of the experiences I had gained through my observations, I want to persist in the position that my ascertainment was based on the immediate state of affairs. Under those circumstances it was very illuminating to see that to the dictator of the Kremlin, the just ended war did not mean more than one single bout in the march towards his dominance over the whole world. By the way, I know the way of thinking of the real leaders of communism, or better to say, of oligarchy flashing around with communism, so it is quite clear to me that everything except their world-rule is a mere episode that does not evoke in them the slightest stir of compassion even if it should bring a blood bath over which even the most insensible man of the street would get shocked. – "What does it matter if a million people of our nation, of which 10 percent innocent ones, will be killed during the eradication of the class enemy," they told me. And it was at the time when Germans "were making order" in our country. Therefore I knew quite well at that time in which direction our nation was marching, as people were bamboozled with slogans that were calculated to satisfy their lusts. And the worst thing was that I knew they might and probably would be successful.
Nowadays, however, the distrust of the followers of this regime has become so great that they would like to see me arrested. But they do not know at all whom they serve and that they dance with a madman that is decided to destroy the world above the abyss that can swallow them, too. Well, what does it matter, really! It is a result of activity of ripe karma of the world, which has not yet been completely discharged.
Having come back home "internally", I told my friends that news. One of them said to himself: I cannot but believe after all I have seen, but how could the friends – West and East – become enemies? – He could soon see for himself and I found out that my ascertainment was correct.
Those visions and presages made me suffer immensely. And my irritated eyesight and spiritual perceptivity only sharpened that suffering of mine. Only the fact, that I felt myself able to interfere in the auguries by means of mental combinations of inner states, raised in me the conviction supported by my ascertainment, that I could be a useful member of human society – of course – only in a role of a magician.
One vision followed another and one mental state another. That brought me to the conviction that leaders of the Western politics would be able to promptly face demonical intents of political leaders of the East. It can be even formulated so that Western politicians were predetermined to reach the correct inspirations how to drive off the political campaigns of Eastern politicians; the latter, in turn, should get false inspirations. Even that was where I felt to take my credit, as I was perfectly involved in the wheel of the karmic events and predestinations.
It does not mean, however, that politicians of the West should employ the same methods as those of the East. Should democracy remain democracy, its government must always take into account opinions of the nation, or at least of that portion of the nation, which takes part in the political life. Autocracy need not take such respect; here it is the "strongest personality" that has the main say, a dictator who, by authority he has so that he may subjugate his nation and his co-rulers, may dare do what democratic systems cannot dare, nor can they even dare do, by using hard actions, to repel certain actions of dictators. By the way, we could witness before the war (1939-1945) that, while the German dictator rattled the sabres to make obvious he would use them unless the world complied with his demands, the Western powers were not producing weapons at all, or just to the extent they could gain financial means for without burdening their folks, because otherwise, the political opposition could cause confusion in the country. That is the reason why, for instance, England announced the necessity to arm only after Prime Minister had negotiated with the German dictator, where he deduced from Hitler’s behaviour that there were not just rattling sabres in question but a firm resolution to use them.
If there was something in that affair, which could be ascribed to British Prime Minister’s personal habits, it was the traditional belief that wars are not started with the light heart. Wise statesmen are always convinced that the one to start a war of aggression cannot win, for he has to be always up in arms against the majority of the world. This is the reason why it has always been possible for dictators to achieve success; they have always kept ahead of statesmen who, in turn, relied on support of the public opinion of their own nations.
While in the invisible realm presages were forming that the East’s dictatorship would set out for the last march to expanding their own political doctrine, there was also a threat that the same circumstances as before the recently ended world war would be re-established. That fact provoked me to summoning up all my strength to change future prospects. Whether it is true or not that by force of will power, imagination and ability to transform tensions producing presages, I contributed to the auspiciousness in that matter, it is still and all sure that the West began to counteract the attack of the East by ordering mobilization in good time. Thus the West formed a threat the rulers of the East have taken into account.
Today, however, I do not profess the effort in this direction in any other way than someone who describes the past, the reality of which has already gone down to the level of unimportant memories that are necessary to incorporate into the biography to render it really complete. And should somebody think that I am trying to make a show of my importance, then he is wrong. He had better try to cover and change potential fate tensions in the cosmos by using will power and imagination, because he would assure himself that in this way he cannot do anything that would have no response in the whole world of living beings as an effective psychological factor. And if he had to find out that it is necessary to get over some resistance to be able to perform these operations, he will also know that the foreseen fortunes he tries to change have their own protectors within the whole mankind that is always controlled by certain ideas owing to people’s views of life.
As I said before, space was filled with very evil premonitions in 1926. In reality, however, those were just mental shadows then, whose significance, or threat, for the world’s fortunes would have certainly faded out if people had changed their views of life and thereby also the way of thinking or, on the contrary, their thinking and thereby their views of life. But only a dreamer could believe that something like that is possible just from an outer impulse. This way of thinking and these opinions are generated from atavistic preconditions, whereas the result of the former is enabled by haughty conviction that every individual knows everything better than all people.
But atavistic preconditions are not something that is as firm as matter. They are based on feeling and thus it is possible that the one, who feels like a bodhisattva and has power of a mystic who has gained self-control down to the deepest bottom of his nature, is able to change these preconditions and thereby even the feelings of people and thus their fortunes. He can achieve it the more so because the base of atavism is not different for each individual; it is common for all people. And that is the explanation why a mystic can perform so-called "great deeds".
Karmic presages for people were extremely adverse. Political activity of dictators of Kremlin was generating fierce waves of Darkness and Shadows, and I was taking for success when I succeeded in directing the mental formations that were proceeding congruently with karmic predestinations of the world. In moments of relative quietude, deliberations were arising in my within about why people, so conceitedly convinced of their absolutely infallible discernment, are unable not only to avert materializing the dark auguries but also to recognize that they are led to butchery, the desired goal of morally degenerate dictators. Indeed, I have always felt like an intellectually immature man, but in spite of that feeling, since my eighteen years of age, I has been quite clear about what has been wicked in the social-political slogans of demagogues, which have promised paradise for working people. Why do these people not see co clearly as I do? Was it so only because they were seized with a demon of selfishness that in the end runs away from objective opinion and begins to rely on slick slogans, the adoption of which does not require any intelligence? That is maybe why. And against that background, the signs, that were dark like night, should persist…
During my permanent inner struggles, Mrs L. would often come to see us. During one of her visits she was feeling very unwell. Her face changed all of a sudden. She was no longer the nice-looking lady but an old woman. In that condition she was feeling sick; friends put her on the bed and I reckoned: Maybe she will really die mystically now. But she was an extraordinarily strong woman. She was enduring the overstrain, and that made me estimate that my and her realization processes would last much longer and would be burdening me very much in the sphere of auguries where I was working pretty hard at that time.
And the darkness surged more and more; it strove to make up a precise model of the world’s destruction. I was sighing among those surged elements that created sinister outlines of evil future.
"I wish there were more of those who could and would know how to work the way I do. It is so easy, so easy!"
At the same time it became quite obvious to me that people no longer turn their attentions to the inner spheres where shadows of every future event arise. They do not trust all that and think the peak of rationalism is when much importance is attached to sensory phenomena only. The uncertain ground of the world of "great creating process" seems to be unreliable to them, and so they sink more and more into delusion in which belief in false life values is born.
Yes. I think that the entirely down-to-the-fundament rickety building of materialism and low rationalism, does not reveal the already visible rotten foundations of Great Prejudice and the fact that the Spiritual Teaching, which wants to establish, by means of ethics, the prerequisites for peaceful and tranquil coexistence, is something which has been outdated for a long time already. At the same time it is getting quite obvious that both materialism and low rationalism are, from the objective point of view, a mere abstract term, for both of them create preconditions for slavery that does not get at the Commandments – Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, etc.; it only slides into ill-will of immorality that has seized power.
I wanted to really resemble god Siva, and in his manner, to devour that Darkness that was surging, tossing and creating extremely bad omens. But however I tried, I could not get adjusted to doing it.
But Children of Darkness felt I hindered and was a threat to what turned out to be signs of Destruction and Annihilation. That was perhaps why I caught sight of three black figures appearing in the distance of Tibetan mountains. They were spirits of Dugpas. The figures were proceeding instinctively and exactly in the direction where I stood.
The bright gods of high heavens, plunged waist-deep behind the horizon, had remained for weeks on the western side of the sky, looking on my doing. There had been genuine white clouds as the symbols of those deities standing there for the whole time. The gods remained cool even in that situation that was for me the most dangerous of all. I could only read from their looks:
"We are watching you if you don’t sink into the devastating Darkness when acting this way. You can bargain on getting mad in several incarnations or on falling to spiritual ruination. In the worst case you may be absolutely wiped off the cosmos."
I figured out that Light and Its children, in their wisdom, do not intervene in the acting of anybody of us. Exactly behind our doing there is a desire for this or that, a want which must be discharged if one is to attain calmness, composure, within. Therefore any intervention for our benefit, even if it were a divine intervention, can prove to be wrong. But they are watching us if we have exerted so much effort that it has touched their heaven, and they accompany us with their glances the whole way to victory or ruination.
But I was already at the end of darkness, the shadows of which I did not, however, divert, so that one could expect that the evil and sinister future would be warded off. And it was exactly at the end of darkness that the last forces of evil were appeared – the dugpas.
They were on the move already, approaching the bend of the Volga and heading inexorably towards me. I observed Mrs L., but the momentary danger did not seem to be reflected in her within. My wife, on the contrary, a woman of weak nerves, was standing in her inner body in the way that the dugpas’ invisible weapons could easily reach the wanted target, namely annihilating both of us – of course, in different ways for each of us.
That made me try hard to avert their steps by calling forth a gale in the astral world. At the same time I placed my wife behind me so that they could not detect us by the colour of her inner body.
At last they separated; two of them were marching towards Moscow, one towards Caucasus. I was at first tracing the one that headed for Caucasus. I caught him already; he disappeared in the Caucasian crags. Something will happen there one day…
But judging from the way that dugpa moved I could estimate he symbolized the birth of potential evil, so that the actual evil could come out of that region much later. Until now I have not chased up any particular sign that this evil has already come to develop. So this discovery of mine should be considered as a long-term prediction.
The other two [dugpas] were moving about in the region of Moscow. I was trying anxiously to avoid their entering into all people living in that area, which would have turned them into living tulpas. That would make rise to spate of evil in the whole world. At last:
I caught sight of the dictator of Kremlin as an object of attraction – and the brothers of the shadow were inside him. They were even in his brain. That made me conclude: From this moment on, the West’s decisions in the great struggle will be always coming in time, whereas Moscow, or the Kremlin’s dictator, will take false steps. He is already insane in a way, something like a brain sclerosis.
I took it for an extraordinarily hopeful sign when I found out that there was liking arising between the dweller of the shadow realm (dugpa) and the dictator of Kremlin; I even believed that I had contributed to the birth of that attachment by exerting mighty pressures for the purpose of preventing dugpa as a spiritual force from influencing common inhabitants of Russia. The possible success of dugpas would have mean, in my opinion, that this whole nation would become evil.
In my case I knew that the dictator would reach power that would obsess him, power that would destroy both him and itself. In reality I found out that the immediate impact of that obsession would show in the dictator’s brain activity. I considered it as a sign indicating that he would not be able to enforce his intents.
Whether it was true or not could be answered only by those who used to meet that dictator behind the walls of Kremlin.
In the course of that realization, however, I did not move only within the region of dark auguries and in the spheres of our world. I was going through numerous heavens and was meeting gods with whom I often talked about prospects of world’s future in connection to my mystical actions. At the same time I was taking occasion to introducing disruptive influences which were the most powerful in the heaven of Brahmas where I also suddenly appeared once.
Everything was emitting solemnity and bliss in that heaven. And I, as a newcomer, was looking around to see everything that was within reach of my sight. All around me were Brahmas sitting on their thrones. One of them seemed to me particularly rising above the other gods. It occurred to me: King of Brahmas! Thereupon the other Brahmas responded by paying tribute to their ruler.
Something flashed upon me. I soared up in the height to come closer to the king of Brahmas, touched his knee and said: "You are also arising and cessation." And I was really surprised at the impact of my words. The whole figure of the king of Brahmas began to collapse into itself until I saw that his life had ceased. But then I flew in space to land somewhere in a lower region "on earth", having a feeling of a boy who crept into a neighbour’s garden to steal his pears and had just a narrow escape from the farmer who would have got even with the boy by giving him a sound thrashing.
The moment that ensued that act got firmly embedded in my memory. While being "on earth" already, I found myself in the ambience of such mighty and antagonistic forces, that only the new state I had attained by leaving the Brahmas’ heaven and landing on earth again protected me from devastating influence of those tensions. It was like a dark, stormy, cloud that gave out its fiery and water masses, but in relation to me it was like towards some creature in nature. And since I regarded myself the cause of that tempest, I felt satisfied "to have done something once again".
If I had retained my figure and internal configuration I had had on my entering the heaven of Brahmas, I would have been guilty of the happening that had occurred there. That would have meant my responsibility and therefore also necessity of enduring the relevant consequences. But I considered all abrupt mystical changes as having some purpose, and so I stuck to the principle that the state in question required a deed that could be effected immediately. Thus I acted only as if I reacted, taking no account of the results of my deeds. Thus I got the opportunity to chime in the situation and then also break out of it in time.
It occurred to me that, after such action, the king of Brahmas could get reincarnated somewhere else, perhaps even in the sphere of humans, which seemed to me the most probable version. At the same time I wised up that those few words made a dire meddling in the course of cosmic matters. I even shuddered at realizing that I had come through the situation unscathed only because I held the conscience of that boy shinning up the neighbour’s tree to steal pears…
Let us assume that it made end to the biggest surges characterizing the course of my second realization. At the same time, also the white gods, who had stood on the western horizon and observed my doing, disappeared. Of course, with them also the clouds, which had remained there for so long, evaporated. And if the reader thinks that my experience with Brahma, related to the vision of Vishnu and Brahma, about which I talked towards the end of this chapter, cannot be in correspondence with reality, and if he cannot comprehend the events related to my second realization, as it is outside the scope of his mental and psychic reach and grasp, he should take the following explanation:
During the vision of Vishnu, it was God-Creator; in the second case personified characters that experienced brahmic states. It is possible to apply the Buddhist categorization of spheres, which has in Brahma’s heavens so-called Brahma-purohita, Brahma-parisadja and Mahabrahmano. Withal, character of beings a yogi can encounter on his way to liberation is determined by the relation of their inner values to outer factors, namely to experiencing and karma. According to these rules, we count among demonic being those that are unconditionally subject to karmic forces influencing them due to their own acting and psychic relations that are inspired by subconscious motions.
Paradisiacal creatures, namely those of lower classes of angels, live – compared to demonic beings that, in terms of karmic arrangements include also people due to the character of their behaviour – in more harmonious conditions owing to the previous moral improvement of their own beings by means of good acts. If the good acts are based on good intents and virtuous mental motions in general – and not on renouncement – then minds and consciousness of these beings are not illuminated by knowledge but merely by harmonious experiencing. The actual objectification of this behaviour gives rise to angels, or paradisiacal beings.
When some of the creatures from the cosmic order enhance the intensity of their inner activity, or radiation, so much that the centripetally working experience karma is thereby being overcome, then they are classified as devas. In view of this, devas are entities that increased the intensity of electromagnetic voltage of their beings to such a degree that they no longer feel need of taking in karmic experiencing stimuli, because they feel satisfied when remaining in activity, sometimes expressed just by vigilance and vivid perception.
The beings that rose also above activity and remain only in bliss with inner tendency to activity are, in fact, brahmas. If these brahmas base more upon "I" than upon tendencies to activity, they represent characters; Mahabrahma symbolizes a state where the interest in the own being gives way to the tendency to activity which can be, because of the inner qualities, considered as creative activity. The condition of Brahma does not admit any longing for the results of activity.
Well, let us suppose that the one who attained the state Mahabrahmano will overcome the tendencies to activity and will keep only the tendency to self-awareness in the form of "I". In such a case he becomes a being of divine sphere rupa-dhatu which a yogi can identify in the states of his own consciousness rid of the rougher rests of samsara. It means that it is no longer a creature, but an aggregate of concretised properties that are from human perspective perceived as gods of over-samsaric spheres.
These beings that surmounted both tendencies to activity and I-ness, and abide merely in boundless felicities, are known as gods of the sphere arupa-dhatu, or realm without forms.
Within a narrow schematic framework we can divide the forces of the cosmos as follows:
On the threshold of the state called "extinction (annihilation) of consciousness" there is a circumstantial change for consciousness as compared to how we know it from natural states we experience as beings. A being which got as far as here has gone primarily through development of self-awareness that has been forced to grow out of the boundaries of one’s own being as it is the case for common people, and to work its way to the state in which the cosmos is comprehended as a mere sum of complexes that are included within the being striving after redemption.
This reality may be, however, recognized only by experiencing the universal relativity. Only this reveals that the relations and attitudes of beings to the cosmos are determined by the value of self-awareness. On the highest degree, self-awareness can cause the macrocosm to shrink down to the size of an object suited for normal observing. Then this object can be manipulated with the states of thinking, awareness and experiencing.
For a yogi who has reached the highest degree of self-awareness, the cosmos becomes for him actually an object he can subject to his control, analogous to the way an ordinary sort of man can be confronted with the cosmos only as an insignificant unit against the world absolute. But still, those are in fact relations that only man himself created. Yogis have conceived that and so assigned as the essence of the spiritual development expansion of self-awareness that has to grow out of the bounds of cosmos and then finally lapse within itself, which is, of course, accompanied by realization of attaining the supreme plane of development. This highest stage of evolution is the only thing that really attracts every being aiming to enhance and augment one’s own welfare.
For me, the second realization of mine occurred on the very threshold of the state called "annihilation of consciousness". For that reason I am entitled to say what I spoke about the experiences of the second realization, without deserving to be called a "dreamer".
And thus, twenty years after the first realization, the karma I had sown at the time of the [first realization], ripened, and on the path of bhakti, this time a moderate way, I attained a result that was different from the one that symbolized the entering the life during the first realization.
So it was the end of the period in which the most intricate situations the fate can ever hatch up for one would arise for me. It would have been quite easy if my second realization had come of its own accord, or if it had coincided with the first realization of Mrs L. But my wife meddled in those realization processes with her jealousy and, what was far worse, the portents on the political sky interfered. As a consequence, my attention was focused on the last member of that chain instead of the first one, and my personal matters moved to the last place.
Well, I repeatedly forgot about myself and, in the extreme danger of life, I cared chiefly to irradiate the terrifying darkness of portents with the light of auspicious fate. And I was doing that in so far as it did not prove to be more urgent to look after the mental health of my wife and to watch realization processes of Mrs L. It might be even said that it was a token of the utmost self-denial as, while my being crumbled under the pressures of the second realization, I concerned myself only with calling forth auspicious conditions to be implanted into the darkness in which the whole world was shrouded. That was the only reason why I was in the extreme personal jeopardy in which there was a threat that would have resulted in wiping me out of the cosmos, infernal incarnations or madness.
But, can man really take care of such portents if he knows that the world’s fortunes are as dark as night, aware of himself being just an insignificant unit in the universe and, if he may believe, judging from his knowledge, that he is able to influence those fortunes in the best sense? Irrespective of what other people would have done in such a situation, I was convinced that, from the absolute standpoint, an individual is nothing at all unless he is just the executive hand of Lord. That is why I went through moments, karmically nearly pointless, with only a relatively very slight fear for myself but, on the contrary, in permanent terror from what was in store for the world in the future.
I saw terrifying darkness that was ready to knock the tormented mankind into a distress far more terrible than the current suffering, and that should have happened in order to definitely uproot from people the last remains of the spiritual values that had allowed them to survive up till then. It was driving me onto the verge of madness, which was not in the least illuminated with the light of conviction that there might have been another more person who could evaluate the current situation. Indeed! I had known many mystics and worldly people who had one in common: either they railed against the circumstances or, due to their inner wickedness they resigned and said: "That’s what God allows to happen." But I knew well: The world’s fortunes are a resulting phenomenon of magnetic tension which is so-called latent karma. Thus it renders necessary to change our human consciousness into light and to fill all our visual space with [that] light, and only then it will really be possible to resist very effectively all evil that hangs over us like a curse for our badness.
But show me one person who would reason the same way. It is easier to look upon dictators, presidents and prime ministers, and berate them in case they do not arrange everything the way we wish. It is like holding the idea that fate lies on a green table around which those potentates sit, and to deny the fact that fate resides within each of us as a result of our moral and karmic values. Hence nothing else can save the world than the proper understanding of the real causes of the world’s fortunes.
And thus I proceeded on the intricate paths of the world…
To be continued ...